Why I suck at self-promotion

In an attempt to get my name out there, I started a Twitter account (@VaJewel) and this blog.  But what I've come to realize is that I absolutely suck at promoting myself.  I am so uninteresting that I have less than 20 Followers on Twitter and only one Follower here on the blog.  I've racked my brain trying to figure out what to do about this problem.  Like I said before, I don't write because I want to make money or be rich and famous, I write because the characters want me to tell their stories.  So, how do I make people notice me and want to read my books?

After thinking about this problem, I've decided that I don't want to promote myself.  I'm sure it sounds naive, and in the end isn't going to help me at all, but I don't want people to read my books because they find me interesting.  I want people to read my books because they find the characters and the plot interesting.  Who gives a hoot about me! 

So, no, I don't have anything witty or funny to say on Twitter. 

No, my blog posts aren't going to start a revolution and inspire others to rise up against the establishment, or whatever. 

But damn it, my books are good!  The characters who have trusted me to tell their stories are interesting and they find themselves in interesting situations.  They are funny, and witty, and experience exciting things that have never happened to me!  If even half the stuff that happens to characters in my book really happened to me then I wouldn't need to write.  I wouldn't have time to write because I'd be too busy being ridiculously happily-ever-after happy! 

Isn't that why we ladies read chick lit? 

We are boring!  Our lives are not filled with eccentric characters and gorgeous men who are just dying to sweep us off our feet!  We have mortgages and cell phone bills!  We live in crappy apartments or lonely old houses!  We don't have sinfully good-looking men chasing after us!  We have moderately attractive male accountants who sometimes take us to dinner! 

I suck at self-promotion because I don't want to promote me!  Of course, being a self-published author the lack of skills in the area of self-promotion sort of limits my reach.  However, I can not make myself more interesting.  I can not force myself to be witty or funny. 

To quote a great philosopher:
 "I am what I am!"
~Popeye